School Supply List

Also known as Ridiculous Requests Teachers Make at the Beginning of the School Year

Okay, so I went shopping for school supplies for my kids the other day with my mother and we were both laughing hysterically and swearing angrily at the list given to us by the school. Three stores and six hours later we had everything, well, almost everything. 

These are only a few of the numerous requests:


Sharpie Permanent marker (fine point, extra fine point, and ultra fine point)

 Okay, I saw the difference between the fine point and the extra fine point, but "ultra fine" seriously? How much thinner can a sharpie get before it's just a pen?

Ruler - 12"

Right. Is there another size they sell for students? How many parents actually send their kids to school with yard or meter sticks? How will you discipline them at home if they take the smacking stick with them?

1 Box Kleenex (girls)

This is what it said literally. Wow, ummmm...yeah. So does this mean only girls bring kleenex? Or only the girls can use the Kleenex?

1 6" Scissors (Fiskar brand only)

This one was actually the HARDEST to find, believe it or not, at all three stores. Apparently they have 5" Fiskar scissors and 7" Fiskar scissors, but not 6". Do the teachers get together and decide that 6" is better? I know it's the average size and all, but do teachers feel that students self esteem will be shattered if the kid next to them has a 9 incher while they sit there with their 5 incher? Can a 6" scissor do something a 5" can't? I'm pretty sure 5" scissors are better at navigating through corners and round out edges and carving out the big "O's". You should know that it's not the size of the scissors that counts, but really how well it cuts. Of course a lot of the ladies do prefer the 7 and 9 inchers, but that's just because they have big jobs like wrapping presents, sewing, and scrap booking and such. (Hey we do a lot, and the least we deserve is a good sturdy scissors.) Most guys out there say a 5" can handle any cutting job you throw at it. But I digress.... Point is: they don't f-ing sell 6" Fiskar scissors at Walmart, Office Depot or Longs!!!

Happy Motherf-ing Back to School